Introvert Success

Introversion is not a bug, it's a feature.

Month: April, 2013

Pretend It’s A Numbers Game

Just pretend that it’s a numbers game.

And that there’s nothing you can do to change that.

How would you feel?

You’d let go of all worrying about getting it right and just take as many shots as you could.

Guess what that mentality does for you?

Want to be relaxed in the moment and not stressed about achieving a particular outcome?

Pretend it’s a numbers game.

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This is what Introvert Success looks like

Over on Reddit someone posted the following thread How do you react to womanizers? (Image of the thread in case it gets taken down)

The situation in the post is that a woman is wondering if the guy she hooked up with is disrespectful to women. Most people seem to agree that the guy is simply honest about his intentions and he is not at fault.

The reason I’m showing you this is because the description of the guy shows him to be a great example of someone who is a successful introvert. Whether you agree with his behaviour is beside the point. Take a look at how she describes him:

He’s actually pretty awesome with everyone…Very respectful nice, but i dunno. I guess i’m not that comfortable with him being “passively” seducing all the time.
He’s probably the geekiest person i’ve ever met, studying computer science and math, not much of a party animal, as far as he told me he was kind of the “soocially awkward nice guy” type, back in his youth but not really bitter about it.
But when i see him today i sometimes wonder if he’s not into some kind of “revenge”
Some of my friends suggested i might be jealous, not stricto sensu since i’m not considering anything with him other than friendship anymore and i truly love my boyfriend but more because of the “message” it sends on how he values his past love interests…
(A.k.a being one among so many others) I don’t know what to think about that, i never really felt that way, but i don’t really know either what is annoying me about this.
He basically is the one that teached me many things about feminism, told me about great women to read and instructed me about what feminism really is. (Mass medias aren’t really good at that…)

Well, looks like he’s more going for the hottest ones if i may say. ‘”
But very often he managed to make it look like they were going after him. Couldn’t really explain…But he is VERY secretive about himself while appearing extremely upfront at the same time.
Thought i said i was slightly annoyed at the fact romances weren’t “apparently” so special to him due to the numbers…I’m not bitter the least about our past Oo
I don’t know why you’re implying that, i didn’t feel like i looked hurt…But i’ve been quite fascinated by the fellow for a long time and i’m really proud to count among the few real friends he’s got, and the even fewer that know a lot about him…
I’ve been knowing him for 8 years now, and for 3 years i never knew anything else about him other than he was into manga stuff and video games, and quite interested in litterature and classical knowledge.
Then i randomly learned when bringin a foreign friend that he could speak russian…Fluently…And chinese…And arabic…
(The bastard just shrugged when i asked him why he never told anyone about this before. “)
My boyfriend has been bringing him to his chess club since he looked interested and was playing online, when they came back, the fucker had mercilessly crushed everyone there including the teachers…
Then after checking online we noticed he was a top 10 world ranker on chess.com…
He’s studying AI and such so it makes sense, but he also plays saxophone…And Piano…and after years absolutely refusing to dance with people at every party, he gave up one day with a friend’s mother…And made us an awesome public Tango demonstration…And also acrobatic breakdance on another occasion after an awful lot of drinks.

That very same night, after witnessing a girl being seriously harrassed at the club’s door, he intervened…And then we discovered he also knew how to fight because he managed to know unconscious 3 of the biggest shitlords i’ve ever seen… (You know what kind of guys i’m talking about if you like to go out on saturday night…)
I mean…The guy knows absolutely everything, who can do that except a novel-spy or a royal family member? Oo

I can’t figure how he could be upfront about his real thoughts when he’s holding all “this” from basically everyone…
But you’re right about one thing, i really should stop bothering and move on…It’s his business after all… =/
I feel like i kind of suck right now when i see what i just wrote…

Polarise Opinions

Something you have to do is polarise opinions. It’s not enough for everyone to feel indifferently towards you.

Some people need to hate you so that others can love you.

Even if you normally don’t have strong opinions, tastes or preferences either way it is better to choose one side to fully support (obviously I’m talking about inconsequential things in life).

This does not mean intentionally upsetting or offending people but not being afraid if this does happen as a byproduct of your opinions and actions.

Ask open ended questions

Although introverts can be very talkative at times, especially when talking about things we are passionate about, it can often be the case that we don’t really have anything to contribute in a conversation.

One of the best things you can do is encourage the other person to speak by asking open ended questions.

“What…?”
“Why…?”
“How…?”

Avoid asking questions that can be answered with yes or no answers.

Your missions are your highest priority

The number one priorities in your life are your missions.

Everything else comes second to that. 

That’s how you really get rid of of neediness, it’s how you really project that you are busy and that your time is valuable and that you really do have standards.

Why even try to fake those mindsets when you can have them for real?

Introverts naturally find that they can focus intently on their interests for long periods of time.  It’s an example of turning what is often considered a negative by extroverts into a positive. 

You can focus on building your skills and expertise, and when you socialise you’ll actually have real value.

By the way, if you don’t have any missions then your mission for now is to find some.

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature

All my life I thought being introverted meant that I was faulty somehow. That I should aspire to being gregarious and an extrovert.

So for years I put in the effort to be more outgoing, talkative, sociable and adventurous.

I developed my social skills beyond what I could ever dream of, and gained a lot of confidence.

I was no longer shy, I was no longer quiet, I no longer lacked confidence.

But I was still introverted. 

Later I came to the conclusion that introversion is not a bug, it’s a feature.

It was a life altering change of perspective.

Welcome to Introvert Success

A blog about achieving success in all areas of life as an introvert.